CW: Discussion of Kink
Trans Joy is a blog series celebrating the positive side of trans experiences, in an attempt to bring some balance to contemporary trans discourses. This week I’m talking about lingerie.
I initially realised I was trans through the kink scene. Not because it was a particularly welcoming place for trans people, but because it gave me a non-judgemental space to experiment and explore my gender. I began wearing lingerie as a kink and it took me years to realise that the joy it brought was not (just) the thrill of breaking a taboo. It was a sense of affirmation.
This is also one reason I support people playing with gender in a fetish setting, the risk of people appropriating transness is outweighed by the possibility that it could be the start of a far more important journey. It was for me.
Before I felt confident to publicly explore being non-binary, before I even knew that was a thing I wanted, I knew that lingerie made me feel beautiful. Nowadays its only one tool I use to explore and express my chaotic relationship with gender, yet when I look in the mirror and see myself in lace and nylon I remember the scared kid who felt beautiful and didn’t understand why. For me lingerie is about more than just feeling beautiful, or even expressing my gender. It connects me to my journey, and reminds me of how far I’ve come.
I hope you all find some joy this week too ❤ If you want to contribute to this project then please get in touch 🙂 If you want to support the project you can order a zine here. This post is also part of the inclusive project Lingerie is for Everyone, click the logo below to see more.