Trans Joy – Fighting For Me

CW: Mention of misgendering


Trans  Joy is my weekly blog series celebrating the positive side of trans experiences, in an attempt to bring some balance to contemporary trans discourses. This week I’m talking about people fighting for my pronouns 🙂


Allyship can be a thorny topic for trans people. Often any sympathy for trans issues has been directed towards our families, friends, and partners, rather than trans people themselves. This isn’t inherently a bad thing (and I generally don’t resent the individual recipients of this sympathy), but it happens so frequently that it is easy to see a pattern of silencing trans voices. And often  “allyship” is limited, for example using the correct pronouns doesn’t make you a great trans ally, it is the bare minimum required to recognise my identity.


Allyship is not about passive politeness and toleration, but is characterised by a kind of brilliant, fierce love.  It can be seen in the people who go out of their way to fight for us, raising up trans voices, and taking on some of the emotional labour which is often dumped on trans people. I count myself lucky to have allies in my life who truly deserve the title.



The most common form of this I experience is when friends correct other people about my pronouns. My relationship with my pronouns is complex, and often when I get misgendered I either don’t care enough, or don’t have the energy, to correct them. But when a friend or partner goes out of their way to correct it for me, it means a lot to me. It’s a simple act, but it shows they not only see me for who I am, but are willing to take on the emotional labour to make other people understand as well. This is just one relatively small example (and you should be careful not to accidentally out anyone doing this), but personally it means a lot to see people fight for me.


I hope you all find some joy this week too ❤ If you want to contribute to this project then please get in touch 🙂


Trans Joy

Published by QuenbyWrites

I write about whatever captures my attention, focussing on my personal experiences. I'm mostly interested in gender, sexuality, and mental health. My experiences are shaped by being pansexual, polyamorous, non-binary, depressed, an intersectional feminist, and active in the BDSM community.

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