Feeling Femme

Trigger Warning: Dysphoria

I awake
I await
What my body has to say
What am I today?

 

 

Masc or femme?
Beautiful or hulking?

 

 

I stroke my chin
Coarse hair pricks my hand
I feel the gentle teasing of my chin
A wave of revulsion hits me

 

 

Wrong
My face too hairy
Wrong
My shoulders too broad
Wrong
My legs too thick

 

 

Today won’t be easy
I choose clothes to cover my shoulders
To soften my muscles into feminine curves
Makeup highlights my lips and reshapes my face
Till i feel comfortable with the mirror’s truth

 

 

I walk out
Head down, earphones in
Not wanting to give an opening
But I see their stares

 

 

I know what they see
A freak in their midst
A thing in a dress
A threat to themselves
So I am afraid

 

 

Will they attack?
Should I run? should I hide?
Is this the day my luck runs out?
The day I face the people who want me to know that i am despised
Just keep going

 

 

I arrive, safe
Now my day can begin

Published by QuenbyWrites

I write about whatever captures my attention, focussing on my personal experiences. I'm mostly interested in gender, sexuality, and mental health. My experiences are shaped by being pansexual, polyamorous, non-binary, depressed, an intersectional feminist, and active in the BDSM community.

3 thoughts on “Feeling Femme

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